I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
