ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
