Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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