Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize