I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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