Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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