No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
