you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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