FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
