We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
