I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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