we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
