so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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