Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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