So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
