I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
