Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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