Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
