Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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