I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
