Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize
