It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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