Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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