Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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