so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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