What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
