Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
