he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
