I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
