Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
