Already got asked if we're dating
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
