i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
