Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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