I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
