Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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