can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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