I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What a dumb baby whore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
