My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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