Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
