dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
