Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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