So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
