he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
