lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
