Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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