We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There r osticjed everywhere
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
