I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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