She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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