Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
