I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
