i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize