I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
