Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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