so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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