I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
