Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
