i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
