I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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