You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
