she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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